


Pining

by Annabel_Eyre



Series: At the Common Room [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, I am so late to this ship like more than a decade late, M/M, Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-24 03:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12004494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabel_Eyre/pseuds/Annabel_Eyre
Summary: Remus has been stressed lately, and James thinks setting him up with someone will help him. Sirius has some unresolved issues with the situation.





	1. Frustrations

Remus didn't remember the last time he was so stressed out. He was sitting in the common room in the window seat, trying to focus on his book. He sighed finally giving up on it, and looked outside the window. He could see only a few stars in the cloudy night sky, there was no one else outside anymore, it was late. Inside there were still a few people talking around the fireplace. The object of his frustration was currently laughing loudly, curled up with his hands on his stomach, sitting with his legs hooked over the armrest, right in front of him. Sirius was loud by nature, but James kept encouraging him by describing and mimicking Slughorn’s reaction to their latest prank. 

He remembered in second year when he thought that he was never interested in girls like his friends were, because he didn't want anyone one getting too close to him and finding out he was a werewolf. He even said that the first time James and Sirius asked if he liked anyone. He convinced himself that getting involved with someone would not be worth the risk. He was terribly rational about it all, liking someone was not a luxury he could have, but soon he realized he couldn’t stop himself from fancying a certain someone, and that someone was Sirius. 

It started out as a small crush but he noticed that despite the many fights they had over the years, it grew as time went on. He thought that he could keep it in check and manage so it would never harm his friendship group.

As they got older he saw Sirius personality develop, and, well, his body as well, and it got more difficult to cope. They were in the beginning of their seventh year now and it seemed that since last year his hormones were getting the best of him. His body was too aware of Sirius, every time he got too close his brain would simply shut down, and he would lose the ability to speak coherent sentences, he always came out of this interactions hoping people attributed his stammering his ways through words to his shyness. 

Living with him and sharing the same room also didn't help, since he didn't seem to have any modesty when it came to clothing. Sirius was a warm person, so he touched his friends a lot; like putting his arms around their neck, a playful punch in the arm, hugs, sitting too close at the table in the great hall, sometimes he simply forgot what personal space was, and all of that made Remus body react in ways he couldn't control. He knew Sirius liked to embarrass him on purpose, and that was what frustrated Remus the most.

Today he was more irritable than normal because of the terrible night of sleep he had. When he got to his dorm last night he was greeted with the image of a sleeping Sirius, wearing only his boxers, napping on Remus bed. He walked up to him and shook his shoulders to wake him, and kindly told him to bugger off, only to be told he wasn’t going anywhere, and to sleep on the other bed unless he wanted to share this one. Remus was more annoyed because there was no reason for him to have done that. Sometimes, thanks to some potion being brewed in their room for some prank or some hex thrown his way, Sirius bed was unusable until fixed, but this time his own bed was in perfect state, ready to be slept in. 

After staring angrily at Sirius back for a while, thinking if he should hex him or not, he heard snoring, so he resigned and went to the other bed. As he laid down, he immediately realised his mistake, Sirius smell was all over him. It was intoxicating, it made his head feel foggy, and there was no escaping it. It was late already, and he wouldn’t get many hours of rest if he didn’t sleep soon. 

It took him a while to fall asleep, and in his dreams he had accepted Sirius invitation to share a bed. He woke up urgently needing a bath, and feeling like he had not slept at all. His dream and the memory of Sirius scent followed him throughout the day, making it impossible to focus in class.

And now he was annoyed mostly at himself but also at the world and desperately needed some sleep. He looked away from the window and saw James and Peter discussing something, and Sirius staring at him, grinning with a smug expression.

“Did you sleep well, Moony?” He asked raising an eyebrow. And that was it for Remus. He got up briskly, and walked towards his room.

“Remus, what’s wrong? Wait, come back…” He heard James say behind him, but he didn’t stop or look back, he just wanted to be left alone.

“Damn,” James said. “Was it something we said?” He looked at Peter, who just shook his head.

“It was my fault.” Sirius sighed and sat back in his chair. He didn’t think his question would make him that mad, he was just teasing.

“We need to talk,” James scooted his chair closer to Sirius and gestured Peter to do the same. “About Remus.”

“Oh. The thing we were talking about the other day? The stress thing?” Peter asked as he settled down next to him.

“Yes”

“What stress thing?” Sirius was getting curious.

“Well… I’ve noticed that our friend has been… on edge lately. He looked positively ready to hex someone in class today. And we thought maybe setting him up with a bird could help him. There are some girls that probably wouldn’t be opposed to the idea, by what Lily tells me, besides, it’s been awhile for him, and all he does with his free time is study. We were thinking of… ” James was looking expectantly at Sirius, but he frowned and stopped talking as he saw the look on the other boy’s face. “What? You don’t want to give Moony a hand?” 

Sirius opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it and just shook his head. 

“Why not? Couldn’t hurt to try.” Peter said.

“It’s just…“ Sirius started talking but he didn’t know what to say, really.

“We aren’t planning to just shove him into some random girl, we are gonna try to find out who he is interested in first. Maybe tomorrow we’ll ask him some questions.” He said looking at Peter, then he turned to Sirius and smiled. “If you’re ok with that? Look, it’s for his own good, yeah? I’m actually worried about our boy,” And with that, he got up and stretched himself, announcing he was going to bed. Peter shot one last confused look at Sirius and followed James.

Sirius stayed in his chair. When he got like this, when his thoughts overwhelmed him and he got confused about what he was feeling, he would normally go to Moony. Sirius was aware that he couldn't process his emotions very well, and sometimes that led him to make some rash decisions. He liked being reckless, he had a reputation to maintain after all, but sometimes he needed help and out of the three boys he considered his true family, Remus was the one he went to, he always knew how to calm him down and there was something about his voice that sounded like home. He could be reading the ingredients to blemish blitzer potion and it would still feel comforting to Sirius. But this time he was confused about Moony. 

Besides girls, Sirius had been with blokes, everyone knew about it and the only people that gave him shit for it were, unsurprisingly, a few slytherins. 

The problem was he felt attracted to Remus, had for a while, but it was only natural, he was attractive as fuck, everything about him was alluring to Sirius, his body, his face when he was focused on a book, how poised he normally was and how easily Sirius could break his demeanour by teasing him, it was positively adorable the way Remus flushed, totally worth getting hexed for nagging him. 

He knew he wasn't the only one in their house who thought that about him, and Moony seemed to be oblivious about the fact that other people looked at him that way, let alone Sirius himself. He felt kinda guilty for thinking those things about one of his best friends, but he knew Moony wasn’t interested in him, didn’t seem to be interested in anyone like that actually, so he never thought of acting on it. Sirius had never felt so anxious about his infatuation until now. Why was he freaking out about setting him up with someone? 

He thought back to what James said, and he had been worried about Remus, he agreed that he seemed more antsy these past few months. When he teased him he was jumpier now, and his patience with their pranks was wearing thin. Sirius just attributed it all to bad recovery days related to his furry problem, but James thought a girl would help relieve some pent up stress. 

This plan sounded very James like. Ever since James started dating Lily he thought everyone should be in a relationship. Sirius knew he thought Moony fancied girls because of the time in fourth year during a party when Remus and Dorcas Meadowes were dared to spend some quality time in a broom closet. A year later Sirius and her decided to do the same, and after they left the closet he asked her as a joke who was better, and she confessed that she and Remus didn't do anything that time, just talked, but he'd asked her not to tell anyone about it so they wouldn't tease him. 

Maybe he was confused about it all because he cared a lot about Moony and wanted to protect him from… Rejection, or something. But his friend deserved some fun, and who was he to stand between that?

Sirius sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, he mumbled to himself about how he was an idiot who was overthinking shit and should just sleep. He looked around for the first time in a while, he was so absorbed in thoughts that he didn't realize he was the only one left in the common room.

When he reached the dorm he heard Peter snoring, he glanced at Remus and felt his stomach twist. He laid down in his own bed, but for the rest of the night his brain just wouldn't stop thinking about the ways he could help Remus relieve his frustrations.


	2. Questioning

Remus was reading his book sitting comfortably in a cushion in front of the fireplace of the common room. Unlike the day before, he felt relaxed, embracing the warmth of the fire. He was enjoying his time of peace and quiet, he had a great night of sleep and surprisingly no annoyances during the day. But of course it was only temporary.

 “Moony, Moony, Moony, we were looking for you!” Remus sighed, closed his book and looked up at Sirius, who grinned and sat down on the floor in front him, hugging one leg and stretching the other.

 “Well, you found me.” Soon after, James and Peter appeared and sat down beside Sirius.

 “Hey Remus, how are you today?” James asked cheerfully, putting emphasis on the word you.

 “We just talked two hours ago. I am fine James,” Remus gave James a sideways look. “You want my help with some prank, is that it? Or is it homework?”

 “No, nothing like that. Look, we are your friends, who you love and trust very much, right?” The normally very enthusiastic James Potter now adopted a grave tone.

 “Umm, yes?” Remus couldn’t help but feel this question was a trap.

 “Ok,” James said sitting up straight. “So you know we would never use something you said against you.”

 “Where is this going?” Remus asked and looked at the three of them. Sirius was biting his nails and shaking his legs.

 “We just want you to know you don’t need to keep secrets from us. So, I know we’ve already asked you this before, but which girl do you fancy?” James asked “ And no more of that I don’t fancy anyone bullocks.”

 Besides the occasional teasing, which he answered with his usual sarcasm, they hadn’t asked him this question in years, and never this forward or this serious.

 “You know I can’t get involved with anyone thanks to…” Remus tried his  conventional answer, but was interrupted by a flustered James.

 “Merlin, we are not asking you to marry someone, just asking for some information here.”

 “I…” Remus sighed. He didn’t want to lie to his friends. “I’m not interested in any girls.”

 “Really Remus, I don’t think…” James started talking but was interrupted by Sirius.

 “Don’t like any girls. But do you fancy someone? Anyone?” He was looking at Remus, still biting his thumb.

 Remus couldn’t meet his eyes, so he looked at the carpet. He thought about lying. They must have understood his silence as an affirmation, because Peter went “Oh.”

 He was getting anxious, that was not how he had planned to come out to his friends.

 “Well,” James said after a while. “That explains why you never answered our questions. It’s fine Moony, everyone is okay with it, but you should have told us sooner, especially Sirius… “ No. Especially not Sirius, Remus thought. James coughed and went on. “So, now we know it’s a bloke. Who is it then?”

 Remus sighed, finally looking away from the carpet. “Isn’t one secret enough for the night?"

 James seemed content, he started nodding, then Sirius asked.

 “Yeah, but who is it?” He looked straight at Remus, frowning.

 “Why do you wanna know?” Remus was getting annoyed. He trusted Sirius to be this stubborn.

 “Why are you not telling us?” Sirius insisted.

 “There’s no reason to. It’s just a stupid crush, forget it.” Because I don’t want to ruin our friendship. He went from being thankful to James for being accepting, to wanting to be anywhere else. Even sleeping in the owlery didn’t seem like a bad idea.

“Why keep it a secret then.” Remus looked at Sirius and he couldn’t understand why he was pushing so much. If this was just another way of teasing him, he wouldn’t have it.

“Because I don’t have a chance with him.” Remus stated as if he was commenting on the weather, and got up to go to the dormitories.

Sirius kept looking at the door Remus disappeared through thinking if he stared long enough maybe he would come back and explain himself.

After a few minutes of silence Peter said. “Well… It could have gone better. Maybe the guy he fancies isn’t gay?”

“Maybe.” James said, and slapped Sirius hand. “Oi, stop biting your nails.”

Sirius made a sound of protest in the back of his throat, but otherwise obeyed him. So, Remus liked man. He couldn’t help but feel hope. Which was very stupid of him, since Remus liked someone in particular. Realization hit him, he didn’t know he wanted him this much until tonight.

“Bloody hell.” He ran his hands through his hair. He was in too deep.

“You may have gone too heavy with the questions, mate. You were a bit of a twat.” James said to him.

“Shut it. Yeah. I’ll apologize tomorrow.” He sighed and laid down on the floor.

Sirius stared at the ceiling . The red decoration around the room and the fire from the fireplace made the entire ceiling look red. When did it start? He couldn’t pinpoint the time when pining turned into something more, but now there was no denying it. And he had no idea what to do about it. Suddenly, there was a shadow in front of his eyes.

“Hello, did you hear what we said? Or are you sleeping already? Is the floor comfortable?” Peter was shaking his hands in front of Sirius eyes to get his attention.

“We are going to bed, you coming?” James asked him.

“Yep.” He got up. James went to the other side of the room to kiss Lily good night. Sirius waved at her and they went up to their dorm.

When they got there, Remus was apparently already sleeping. He looked so peaceful, Sirius could almost forget how annoyed he was minutes ago. He stopped staring at his friend and went to bed.

 

* * *

 

“Have you seen my socks?” James frowned and went around his bed for the third time.

“Nope.” Remus was sitting in his bed sorting out his books for the classes of the day.

Sirius was laying down on his back, he was already dressed but still in the process of waking up. It was morning, the windows were half open and a streak of sunlight was shining on his face. He was too lazy to get up and draw the curtains.

“Oh,” James made a sound of disappointment and emerged from underneath his bed holding a single sock.

Peter opened the door and peeked his head inside the room.

“James, Lily is calling you. Something about her notes from History of Magic class?”

“Tell her I’m coming.” He gathered his things, put his shoes on and left the dorm, sock forgotten on top of his bed.

Remus saw from the corner of his eyes that Sirius was restless, at first he was fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt, then he started turning in his bed and sighing. He was still mad at Sirius about yesterday, so he ignored him.

“Remember when James would beg Lily to tutor him? And when he burned his notes so he could ask for hers.” Sirius smiled. “I miss seeing him making an ass out of himself to get her attention. I don’t miss him moping around though.”

“Hmm.” Remus kept sorting his books and answered maybe a little more coldly than his usual calm politeness.

“Look…” Sirius stayed silent for a while, then he got up and sat at the side of Remus’ bed. “I'm sorry, about last night. I shouldn't have… “

“Been such a wanker?” Remus looked up at him and smiled.

“Pretty much. Yes.”

“Why were you?” He put his books to the side.

“I don't know why I insisted so much. I know you hardly talk about these sort of things, I should have respected that.” He ran his hands through his hair. “It's just, I want you to know, well… “

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“You're a great guy, and whoever you fancy is very lucky.” Sirius said in a hurry. Remus mouth opened but no sound came out.

He regained his composure and cleared his throat. “Well, you don't have to worry about me being lovesick like James was, nothing will come of it, I mean, look at my face, these scars aren’t exactly a selling point.”

Remus had meant it as a joke, but Sirius looked at him thoughtfully, eyes searching his face. Remus gave him a confused look, and was about to ask him “what?” when he leaned in closer to Remus, and raised his hands to his face. Sirius traced his fingers lightly over his jaw, resting his hands at his chin, stroking a scar he had near his lips with his thumb. Remus shivered and felt his heart beat faster. He couldn’t help but feel like Sirius touching him like that was just right, like he was meant to do that. The moment seemed to stretch out between them. Sirius had an intensity in his look that Remus had never seen before as he started speaking.

“I don’t think…” Sirius started talking, but was interrupted by the loud noise of the door being forced open.

James and Peter walked in the room, talking excitedly. Remus couldn’t focus on what they were saying, his ears were ringing, and he felt blood rush to his face. Sirius got up and went to his own bed.

“... you listening? Remus?” James called him.

“Yes?” Remus answered.

“If we don’t go to breakfast we’re gonna be late for class. Come on.”

Remus put his shoes on and followed James, trying to remember how to act normally after what had just happened. After they left the common room Sirius caught up with them. As they walked together to the main hall Remus tried to make sense of what had just happened, trying to convince himself that he had imagined the look on Sirius face while he touched him.

At breakfast he had regained his ability to think enough to engage in conversations with the people around him, but he felt Sirius’ eyes on him the entire time. It was hard to focus during his first class, his second class was Arithmancy and by then he was less distracted, he even managed to take some notes.

As he was leaving class he felt someone grab his upper arm and stop him. He turned around a saw a hesitant Sirius, a very rare sight.

“Hey, can we talk?” He asked, and Remus nodded. While they were standing there the students had all left the classroom, followed by his teacher. Remus looked inside and confirmed that the classroom was empty, so he gestured for them to go inside.

They got in the room and both of them seemed to realize at the same time that Sirius was still holding Remus’ arm. He also noticed how close Sirius was standing. And the same kind of feeling from the morning came over him, but sharper, and when he looked at Sirius in the eye something seemed to snap between them. He expected Sirius to to let go of him, but instead he used his hold to guide backwards two steps until his back hit a wall. They were so close now that Sirius rested his forehead against Remus’. He felt like there was a fog in his brain and he couldn’t think straight. Their breathing got heavier and Sirius let out a shaky breath.

“Fuck, Remus…” He let out a strangled laugh. “ Do you want this?”

Yes! Remus screamed in his brain, but he had seemed to lost the ability to speak, so he chose to just show him. His lips meet Sirius’ and he felt he was shaking . The grip on his arm tightened. Sirius tilted his head and their lips fit perfectly, Remus melted into the kiss. His hands came up to touch him, to make sure Sirius was really there. Remus held him by the waist, and at that moment their kiss deepened and his mind went blank, he could only feel Sirius all around him.

After what could have been five minutes or an hour, Remus couldn’t tell, they stopped and looked at each other, and they just couldn’t help but laugh, because the whole situation was a bit… well, where had that came from? From his side he knew it came from years of pining and frustration, but he couldn’t guess about Sirius.

After they calmed down a bit and the laughs became occasional giggles Sirius rested his head in Remus’ shoulder.

“We should have done that bloody ages ago.” Sirius said, and Remus could practically hear his smile. They were still quite close, and he felt very relaxed and comfortable with it.

“I certainly wanted to.” Remus said, he closed his eyes and sighed.

He definitely wasn’t going to focus on any class for the rest of the day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was brought to you by bad sleeping habits, written in several sessions, all around 5 am. I've been a fan of Harry Potter since the beginning, but somehow only now realised how good this pairing is, I'm slow.


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